Pastors and Their Critics - Part 3

Transcript

We've been walking through this book by Joel Beeke and Nick Thompson called Pastors and Their Critics. He originally just gave this as a talk at a conference for pastors, and he said he received some of the best feedback from any conference talk he's ever given. And one man there worked with PNR, Presbyterian and Reformed Publications, asked him to turn it into a book, so he did. And I wish they would have titled it Christians and Criticism, because it is really not just a book for pastors, it's a book for everyone who has ever been criticized or given criticism, which is everyone. So it's a very helpful book, and it starts with the theology of criticism, kind of walking through the Bible, and Old Testament is where we began. Do we remember, who is the first person criticized in the Bible? God. Yeah, after God does everything well, and he looks at his creation and says it is very good, the serpent comes to Adam and Eve and says, has God really said you can't eat from any tree in the garden? Is that what God said? No, he starts with a big kind of poke at the Lord, and the question behind the question is, does God really care about you? Does he love you? Can you trust him? Is he interested in your good, or is he really trying to just squash you and preserve his own glory at your expense? All right, so Satan is the first one who brings criticism in the Bible, and he does it through a question. He doesn't just come out right and say, by the way, God's a liar, until his second statement. What does Satan say second to eve you will not surely die there's no way this is going to happen so then the serpent comes out and just says god is a rotten liar and it's because he's afraid that if you eat this fruit you'll become like god well satan's lie was terrible because the only thing we know about humanity at that point is that we were made in the image of god we were like god so that's satan his criticism of the Lord. So if you've been criticized, you're in good company. The Lord has also been criticized ever since. That is kind of the way that Satan works. It's through criticism of the Lord. So that's the first criticism. What were some other criticisms that happened in the Old Testament? By the way, once you start asking that question, if you're reading your Bible, you'll see it everywhere. All right, what are some other criticisms in the Old Testament? Men against God, complaining about what God made. Yeah. All right, so the Israelites in the desert is kind of one complaint after the next. They say god brought us out of egypt because he hates us and he's not going to feed us he's not going to give us anything and then this bread rains from heaven that is angels food and they say okay well he gave us food but he's going to let us die of thirst here we're in the desert the arabian desert and then moses strikes a rock and a hole by the way i always saw this in my mind i would read moses strikes a rock and water comes out for the people of israel and I always saw it as like this little creek like oh look we have water and they go with their little water bottles and they're like okay good I have I have enough for one water bottle do you know how many people were there in the desert? Numbers? I can't quite hear. Around one million. Around one million? Yeah it's about 800,000 who are men of fighting age when we do kind of population it's most likely over two million. So when Moses strikes a rock, he's giving water for two million people. So I don't think it's a little trickle. I think there's this river that comes out of the rock when Moses strikes it. All right, so God is criticized in the desert. Who else? What's that? Moses. Over and over and over again, they criticize God, but they also are like, Moses, it's your fault. You hate us. you wanted to kill us and we were just happy slaves in in egypt we had everything we wanted including our onions we had our green onions and now we don't and it's all your fault and we hate you and they actually plan to kill him a few different times they criticize moses all right other criticisms in the old testament prophets just about all of them jeremiah was their favorite it's depressing reed because he's telling them hey guys please repent no guys god is going to judge us if we don't repent no okay please and they just never they hate him they call him a liar they put him in a pit at one point and one of the worst things they do do you know what they did to jeremiah they burned all of his scrolls towards the end of his ministry they took his books and burned them. Like, no, not the library. Don't do it. So he had to rewrite everything that he had prophesied because his enemies who criticized him burned his scrolls, right? So the prophets were criticized. The kings were criticized. David was many times, sometimes justly, sometimes unjustly. And we see all the different responses in the Old Testament to these criticisms. All right, New Testament. We talked about this last week. Focusing on the criticism of Christ. So by the way, if you think, if I just live a really good life, and I love God, and I love my neighbor as myself, then no one will criticize me. Like Jesus. Wait. What was Jesus criticized for doing? Or what were some of the criticisms against him? John eight forty one. The Pharisees insinuated that Jesus was the illegitimate son. Yeah. They said, we know you were born of a the Virgin Mary before they got married. We understand what that means, Jesus. So they criticized Jesus of being an illegitimate child. The Pharisees did. Other criticisms? Yes. He's in league with Satan. It's the prince of demons. He casts out demons. There's another criticism. Jesus works with Satan. It's quite a critique. I don't know if I've ever been criticized. I've been criticized of a lot of things. Not that one. What was Jesus' response? What was his response? House divided against itself cannot stand. That's right. He said, What are you talking about? house divided against itself cannot stand. And by the way, if I'm casting out demons by Satan, Pharisees, who are you casting out demons by? Are you also in league with Satan? So there were responses that Jesus would often give to a criticism. But a bunch on the cross, it all kind of comes to a head at the cross. What were some things he was criticized or some verbal abuse that was thrown at him. Remember they were hitting him and saying, hey Jesus, who hit you in the face? hey, if you're a prophet, who hit you in the face this time? They blindfolded him, started hitting him, and said, if you're a prophet, tell us who's the one hitting you in the face right now. King of the Jews, hail King of the Jews. They put the crown of thorns on his head until he's this bloody mess, beat him, and did this little mock honoring of the King of the Jews. I mean, it was just constant criticism. All right, what was his response primarily when he was at the cross? Unbelievable, all right? If you've ever been in pain, I talked about this last time, and I had a professor in seminary who told me this. It was really helpful. If you stub your toe against the wall, there's only one thing you're thinking about for however long that pain is there, your toe. Your world becomes the size of your toe when you're in pain. All right, Jesus is in literally excruciating pain. The word excruciating means from the cross. And Jesus is there in the greatest pain that the Romans could devise, And he's praying for the people who are causing all of his pain. And he's saying, Father, please forgive them. There is no bitterness in his heart. Sometimes he responds to So when they came to arrest him and they said, we're here because you're a blasphemer. And he said, wait a second. I was teaching in the synagogue every day publicly. If you had something to bring against me, why didn't you bring it up when the courts were open? Everything I said, nothing was in secret. This isn't a secret society. This is in public. And so he basically brought it back to them and said, if you're accusing me of a crime, why don't you go through the normal methods, through the courts, through public accusation? But you come at night arresting me in secrecy. So sometimes he did respond to his critics. Sometimes he was just silent, like a lamb before its shearers. All right, so the criticism of Christ we have as the main, we're to follow Christ as we are criticized. All right, but I want to get this week into some practicals. really kind of nitty-gritty. When you are criticized, what should you do? And I'm going to start with the character. Your character comes before you are criticized, and that makes a large part into how you are criticized, how you respond to criticism. If you're going to give criticism, what kind of person are you? We don't listen to everyone in the same way, and we're learning that because of social media. If you look at the comments on a YouTube video or any other thing, I just had to quit at one point, like, okay, I'm never going to read the comments section again. People are terrible. That's the only thing we've learned from making everything public. And you can't listen to all these comments. You know, you'll get 400 comments on something, but you can't really listen to those comments. So you can lob grenades from the safety of your thumbs on your screen. Like, yeah, I'm a big, bold man on my screen. It's something that you would never say to someone else face-to-face. So if you have someone that you have, you don't even know who they are and they're criticizing you online, you're not, hopefully you're not going to listen very much or take it very seriously. Whereas if it's a close friend that you've walked with for years and you trust them and they clearly love you and that friend comes to you and criticizes you, you should listen a lot more. And if you're going to give criticism and if you're always giving criticism and nothing but criticism, do you know what people will do? They will not listen to you anymore. So your character goes into this whole kind of pot of criticism. All right, so how do we receive criticism? If someone tells you that you are wrong or something bad about you, what's the first thing you should do? Listen. What's the hardest thing to do? This is a book written for pastors, and Dr. Beeke quoted someone who said, you know who the worst listeners in the world are pastors they're like so used to talking they don't ever want to listen you need to be a good listener and open your ears to receive before you respond what are some bad ways of listening? What are some ways that we are bad listeners or other people start coming up in our defense? There you go. While they're talking come up with your defense and just like okay they started they're still going you know, Linus and Lucy, and you're thinking, okay, here's my defense. I can't wait till they're done talking, because I've got a good one. Right. Bad way of listening. Other ways? Reacting rather than responding. Reacting quickly. okay? One piece of advice that Dr. Beeke gives in this book, he says, if you're given a kind of serious criticism, wait 24 hours before you respond. He said, okay, I'm hearing what you're saying i'm going to consider that i'm going to pray about it give me at least a day to respond because you're probably not going to react with the best way you should respond all right other bad listening. What's that? Good. Even while they're talking to say, God, just let what's true. Yeah, so pray. Be in dialogue with the Lord even as you're listening say lord help me to hear what's true you made me you know me you know the truth so let the truth come through and then don't let anything else come through i don't need to hear if this is a lie. This is not helpful. This is designed to cut me down and discourage me and attack me. I don't need to hear it, but Lord, make it clear. Yeah, so be praying. Help me not to punch them in the stomach. You can pray that after you've reacted first. Help me not to punch them again in the stomach. All right, let me give you a couple reasons why is there criticism in this world. And let me just start with criticism is inevitable. It will happen. You will be criticized. you will give criticism. That's the world we live in. One of the reasons for criticism is sin. So just start with the fact, I am a sinner. Sinners should be criticized. And here's one of the things that Charles Spurgeon said,

Brother, if any man thinks ill of you, do not be angry with him, for you are far worse than he thinks you to be. And if he attacks you falsely, you should be satisfied because if he knew you better, he might change the accusation and you wouldn't be any better for the change. And if you have your moral portrait painted and it is ugly, be satisfied because it only needs a few worse touches and it will be closer to the truth.

— Charles Spurgeon

So Spurgeon was like, hey, if you're criticized, we deserve it. So just recognize that fact and be open to criticism because of sin, right? So we are sinners. That's one reason. Another reason with the same is that other people are sinners. And Jesus said, if you are a light shining in the darkness, do you know what the darkness, how the darkness responds to light? It prefers darkness to the light because our deeds are evil. So sometimes you might just be a faithful Christian following Jesus, loving Jesus, loving other people, and people get really mad at you. You think, what did I do wrong? And the answer might be, you probably shouldn't start here, but it might be you did nothing wrong. And you're just following the Lord Jesus and you're exposing someone else and their conscience starts pricking them and they are mad at you. And so the sin of other people is another reason. Jesus said, I'm going to send you like what into this world? Like sheep in the midst of wolves. So there's our sin, which opens us to criticism. There's the sin of other people, which might make them criticize you unjustly, right? So those are two reasons. Another reason for criticism in the world is that we have an enemy. The first critic we read of in the Bible is Satan. He is the accuser of the brethren. All right, let me just rephrase that. He will criticize you. He loves criticism. It's his game. It's his sport. He's going to do a lot in the world of criticism. So we have our sin. We have other people's sin. We have Satan, who's a real enemy, who will criticize you for the sake of despair. That's his goal. There's no good in his intention. All right, and there's one other character involved that allows criticism and uses it. It's the Lord. You will be criticized because what is God's goal in your life? What is it? I heard a couple different things. To make us like him. Sanctification. All right, saying the same thing. God intends to make you look like Jesus. That's his goal in your life. Romans 8 is this glorious passage. It says, everything works together for good to those who love God. And you think, yes. And then Tuesday rolls around and you think, what happened to that verse that said, everything's working together for my good? Nothing is. And then it clarifies, by the way, God's going to define what is good. And this is what it is. You reflect the glory of Jesus. Okay. What did Jesus suffer? Criticism. And God is going to shape you into the image of Jesus and he will use criticism to do it. He'll use people coming alongside who are faithful friends. What does the Bible say about the wounds of a friend? They're faithful. It's because they care about you. So God is going to bring faithful friends who will say, hey, by the way, you're doing great in all these things, but you really blew it here. And I'm telling you that because I care about you. I know this is going to hurt, but, you know, we're friends. All right, faithful are the wounds of a friend. God is going to use that. God is also going to use people who accuse you falsely and who want to do nothing except cut you down. And God will also use that to shape you into the image of Christ and show you his love, show you fellowshipping with Christ in his sufferings. It's one of the ways that we grow. Alright so those are some reasons for criticism. We have sin, generally, we have Satan, and then the Lord is going to use it all to chisel you into the image of Christ. Have you seen a sculptor? What are they using for their sculpture? This nice, gentle tool on their stone, the sharp edge thing, and then a hammer, and they're just pounding into the stone. God is going to use criticism as a chisel to cut you into the image of Christ. We're going to take off all the extra bits. All right. So those are some reasons for why is there criticism? All right. Practical advice. So we've dealt with a few things. You should pray. You should listen. You should wait. What are some other things you should do when you receive criticism? Unless it's from your wife, in which case, you know, you just don't have to listen. Right? False. Yes. Somebody told me that I should stop eating my boogers. Or are they off their rocker? Yeah, that's great. So bring in other people. Who do you trust? You should develop really people that you trust a lot. And when you're criticized, say, hey, could I just call you for a little bit? You know, I'm hearing this is the criticism I've heard. I want another perspective. And here's why. You are probably not the best perspective on your own faults. So if it's true and you have a close friend, and by the way, not just a friend who's going to tell you like, no, you're great. You're awesome. Everything is always wonderful. But a friend who will sometimes tell you, no, actually you were wrong there, right? Ask that person and say, hey, I've been criticized with this. Do you see that in me as well? That's really helpful. Dr. Beeke gave one example. Someone sent him an anonymous letter, which he apparently gets not all that unauthentic. It's not all that irregular for him to get an anonymous letter. This one was signed Theophilus. Y'all know who Theophilus is in the Bible? It means lover of God. And he read it, and his wife said, you're really down today, are you okay? And he's like, I've received this letter, and it is awful. And I don't even want to tell you what it says. Like, it's so bad. And she said, okay, well, how about you call someone? And he called a friend, and he started reading it to him, and his friend said, Joel, this is a lie from the pit of hell. None of this is true. Just burn that letter, and don't ever look at it again. Don't respond. No need. Okay. But hearing it from a friend, instead of just telling it to himself, he said, I was like, okay, just really relieved to hear that. So bring in other counsel when you've been criticized and be open to people that you trust and say, do you see this as well? Alright. When you think about the person criticizing, what are some things you should think about from the critic? Who they are, what their views are. I would ask, is this person a Christian or not? Because if it's not a Christian, they're like, you have these evil, hateful views. well, I'm sorry, I actually have a Bible and a Lord, and I'm not really open to discuss some of these opinions. This is what it means to be a Christian. And you can criticize me for being a Christian, but I'm not going to change if this is how I'm to follow Christ in his word. So what are That's one question. Other things you should ask. Yes. Yeah, if they've received mercy from the Lord, then hopefully they will give it mercifully. This doesn't always happen in the church, just to let you all know, we're not always merciful towards each other. But we have received mercy, and when we begin to criticize others, we should do it mercifully. Yeah, it's a lot easier to take criticism from someone that you know loves you. When you have no question, it's from them. Any other questions to ask? To be condemning us for that. Yeah, there are two things there. there i'm going to pull those out scripture is profitable for teaching rebuking you know that's one of the uses of the bible is to rebuke us correcting and training and righteousness all right that will look like criticism god's word will criticize you that's one of its uses intended all right so that's one thing to think about as someone criticizes you and i think the other would be maturity of the person criticizing you they might say something you say you know what i just disagree. And I think this, and talk to someone else to get their advice, but if it's a more mature Christian, you know, if it's one of the elders in our church, I'm going to listen a lot more than if it's someone that I just met that says, you know, I visited your church once and you guys are terrible at this. They might be right, but I'm going to give more an ear to people who are serving in our church than to someone who comes for the first time. Okay, so those are some things to consider about the critic. All right, in responding, how should you respond to criticism? Stephanie? Own your two percent. All right, this is coming up in Peacemakers. We're going to do this next. In Peacemakers, he said, listen, pretty much every conflict, there are two people who are guilty among the two people who are in conflict, usually. It's not always, but almost always. And if you are only guilty of two percent of the conflict, and they're guilty of 98 percent, you know what you should do? You should say, you know what, I was wrong here in this two percent. I'm a hundred percent guilty of what I did wrong. And you don't come with ifs, ands, or buts. And let me explain. And you're so much worse than me. You just come saying, you know, I'm sorry. I did this. This was wrong. Right? So there's one way to respond. Any other practical ways? How do we respond to criticism? Turn the other cheek. Yeah. Sometimes. Sometimes you just take it and you're silent. Yeah you don't have to respond every time. Good, Cari? Ask the Lord to teach. Yeah. So ask the Lord to teach you what you do need to know and where you need to grow. All right. Be open to growth. Criticism is an opportunity to grow. The other thing when you respond, be careful with your words. Don't come in just kind of ready to punch. Be prepared for what you're going to say in response.